Principal for a Day

Ruby is head honcho today.

At the school's annual benefit auction, we "won" (read: "paid a pretty penny for") the Principal for a Day auction item.

Ruby is excused from class and gets to spend the entire day with the Principal, doing the principal's job: making rules, enforcing rules, planning agenda items, monitoring the school, visiting classrooms, leading Chapel this morning, performing administrative functions, etc. And, the other part of the auction item was that she gets a special ride in a limo to Taylor's Refresher for a lunch with the Principal and her teacher.

A couple weeks ago, the Principal asked her what kind of rules she wanted to implement for the day. Her first request: her best friend gets to come with her in the limo. (She's no dummy!)

Other rules for the entire school:

1. All students are not required to wear their uniforms. Rather, they should come to school dressed as if for a Tea Party: beautiful dresses for girls, boys do NOT have to wear ties but they should have a collared shirt.
2. Recess time is extended by 15 minutes.
3. Lunch time is extended to one hour.
4. She gets to take her rabbit fur pelt with her wherever she wants, whenever she wants, all. day. long.

My daughter -- oh tactile one. Ever since she was 5 weeks old and found her fingers, she has sucked her middle and ring fingers on her right hand.

Then, when I gave her a soft, silky blanket, she was delighted. When we graduated to a fluffy piece of fur that I got while in Alaska, she was in hog heaven. She's needed "something soft" to go with the finger sucking ever since (I can still hear her in my mind, "Mommy, I need something soft.") It's her coping mechanism. It's her way to self-medicate. And, hey who doesn't like the feel of real fur against their skin? I say, "Bash all the bunnies! We love your fur!!!" (just kidding)

So amidst the fun and games, I was hoping to get a bit of life lessons in there somewhere before she started to weild her newfound power on the unsuspecting student body. On our way to school, she was bragging about being "Principal for the Day" and that she got to make ALL the rules today. YES! I have an opening!

"Ruby, making all the rules is a big job," I said. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Oh yes, I can," she says.

"Because when you make all the rules, you have to think about how those rules will affect other people. What if you had a silly rule? Would people still have to follow it?"

"Uhh, Yeahhhh, MOM! I'm the PRIN-CI-PLE!" (Yes, just as snotty as that).

"Okay, so if you had a rule that all the Kindergartners had to stand in the middle of the street and dodge cars, do you think that's a good idea?"

silent pause

"No."

"Ok, so while you're relishing this newfound (and thankfully temporary) power, remember that your rules affect other people."

"Okayyyyy, Mom."

Yeah, we'll see how my little pep talk impacted her day. Someone with older children than a Kindergartner please comment and tell me these little nuggets actually penetrate that thick skull of children and actually sink in.

We arrive at school and she's greeted like royalty. There she is, all decked out in her Tea Time finest, with her dress, high heels and purse. She strides into school like she owns the place. I'm hanging back thinking, "Oh dear Jesus, we've created a monster."

After flag salute and morning prayer, the Principal (the REAL one) makes an announcement that Miss Ruby Longbottom is Principal for the Day and that she has some special things planned for the students.

Today is Wednesday which is Chapel Day, so the kids all shuffle in, get seated and start praise & worship. That's followed by prayer, and then our little Ruby is up...

She's on stage with her teacher, and......has stagefright!!!! She can't even speak! She whispers to the teacher that she wants HER to lead the morning prayer. No problem, teacher leads prayer and Ruby stands dutifully next to her. After all, it is her first day on the job and she's a bit apprehensive.

Today's chapel lesson was on how to demonstrate love. Ruby warms up to being up on stage and begins to really enjoy it. She calls on other kids who have their hands raised, and they answer with things like "give hugs", "give kisses", "get married", and "not hit other people." It was very cute. Miss Teacher explains that one of Ruby's favorite things to do to show love (and she ain't kiddin' on this) is to make cards for people. So, the entire school body shuffles off to the Before & After Care activity center to make home made cards for someone they love. There's a lull in the day's events, and I head out to finish a couple of things.

When I return to school for the amazing limo appearance Real Principal stops me, all giggly.

"Oh you gotta see this...," she says, and we head into her office.

And there's little Ruby, signing employee TIMECARDS and "authorizing" Purchase Order Requisitions! It was hilarious; I think we've found Ruby's calling!

Limo arrives and Ruby and her best friend Jane are so excited they just can't contain themselves. Limo driver just happens to be Real Principal's father, so there's perks involved! Ruby is treated like the little lady she is and driver opens the door for her and Jane, helps them with their carseats (hilarious!) and gets them all situated. He even has (get this) a bottle of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider! He pours two plastic champagne glasses full and the girls are just tickled.

And off to Taylor's Refresher they go....

In all, it was a comical and enjoyable experience for her. I'm glad she got to have 1:1 time with the Principal, and have a perk with her best friend. Of course, scrapper that I am, I took a bunch of photos so she'll always remember her first "real" job -- School Principal.

But just for a day.

Wordless Wednesday

Precious

My Amazing Boy and 33 of His Closest 4 Year Old Friends

Today is my son's 4th birthday.

Three years, three hundred and sixty four days ago I buckled over in severe abdominal pain and almost crashed into the glass coffee table. My little man did some sort of reverse 2 1/2 that twisted my uterus like a balloon animal. I huffed and puffed through early labor and sat on that useless inflatable ball and prayed that this second baby would come naturally; that I could avoid a C-section. No dice. Little man was good and stuck in there and wasn't going to budge.

He was so good and stuck that the doctor had to use suction -- in addition to him being delivered via C-section! I didn't mind though--cuz in just a few moments, I would gaze on my precious boy for the first time.

11 pounds, 9 ounces
22 inches
Precious

He has a sweetness about him, but he's no pushover. He can hold his own with his sister and friends and cousins. He's incredibly physical, and incredibly thoughtful. He'll smack sister in the head with a broomstick one moment, and the next, bring her favorite rabbit-fur fluffy to comfort her. He cries one moment, and grins the next. He begs to help make dinner, and then abandons his post in favor of playing with the dog. He's unique, but probably not unlike many of your sons.

Saturday was his birthday party at a local bouncy-house party place. Thirty-three of his closest friends, classmates and cousins attended the sheer insanity that was "The Dino-Mite Boy's 4th Birthday."

But it was great. Honestly, it was fabulous. He was the perfect little gentleman and said, "Thank you for coming to my party!" to all the kids, and played well with everyone. I highly recommend having a party elsewhere other than your home, since there's no mess to clean up, there's no rental chairs to return and there's no garbage to punch down in your own wee can. Frederer and I loaded up the lot of toys and looked at each other and said, "We're outtaaa here!" and just drove awayyyyyy with two sleeping children in the backseat. Glorious.

Group Projects Suck

My goodness, is it already the end of April? My son is turning 4 within days, and Spring is in full swing here in Northern California (ahhh-choo!).

I'm sorry I've been incogneto lately, but I have been just crazy busy! How about you? Did you get around to spring cleaning yet? (Bahhhh hahahah!) Yeah, me neither. What about the yard? Done any spring planting? Getting your garden all squared away for summer? Yeah, me neither. That's alright, we'll all make it another day, I promise. But, *sniff* I really wanted a garden this year! Oh yeah, we have a black lab puppy! Yeah, I'm thinkin' I should just save myself the anxiety and just admit defeat right on the onset: NO garden this year.

I'm SO glad that summer is right around the corner. I really need the feeling of life slowwwing dowwwwnnnn. I'm thoroughly enjoying my class, but I must say, I am looking forward to it finishing. I have a 99.7% in the class (yay!), and since this school doesn't award pluses or minuses with their grades, I might as well bail on the final and call it a day. Hey, if a 99 is just as good as a 90, I'm ok with skipping out early. But, in all fairness, the class is really easy... it is. The bulk of the grades are quizzes which are online on the class website (you know, "for practice") so there's no excuse not to get an A on every one of 'em.

But lately, I'm disenchanted. Every time the prof suggests we work in teams I cringe. Seriously, the look on my face just falls and I my eyes tell all. They say, "Gee whiz, I'm so glad to work with you folks that represent the shallow end of the gene pool."

My husband calls it the "huff and glare." I take a deep breath, exhale rather loudly while dipping my head and I just glare and smile. As in, "I'm so glad my grade is dependent upon you Excel-challenged 20-somethings that just can't figure out how to embed a graph into a spreadsheet" type smile.

Tonight, we have a lab write up due on the classifying the endocrine system. Not hard, people. Not hard. Especially when the prof gives you the table, the columns, half of the data points, and just expects you to use just a wee bit of brain matter to generate something unique and interesting. I mean, seriously, how hard is it to populate a data table!?!? I'm sorry I'm complaining. I'm complaining, aren't I? I'm sorry... it's just that my lab partner just called me -- 40 minutes before I needed to go pick up the kids from school -- and gave me some sob story about not being able to "find" the spreadsheet after she's spent two hours populating it. I told her to check the temp folders. I might have well asked her to change the alternator core out of my SUV.

Of course, being the control freak that I am (I prefer to call it "taking charge of my own destiny") I have her dictate to me all the changes she made and I ended up doing 90% of the entire assignment. Which is why I hate -- HATE -- group projects. If I had a lab partner like ME then maybe I'd like group projects, but I don't, so I end up doing all the work anyway in order to secure a decent grade.

Anybody else out there the same?

Or is it just me?

Sticks and Stones

Take a good look at these girls. These girls brutally beat a fellow student, who, after a week, has yet to fully recover her sight or hearing. The oh-so-clueless boys pictured above were the lookouts. And, some brainless num-nuts actually videotaped the beating, presumably to post it on YouTube and/or MySpace.

And yes, they have been arrested and (hopefully) will be tried as adults for felony battery and kidnapping (they abducted the girl and shoved her into a car and drove away).

I found this article from another blog I read, and I think it's important to pass the word. Kids are getting more and more violent against each other. What to do? What the heck is going ON around here people? Girls are just the worst -- the WORST -- when it comes to vicious, violent and just-simmering-ready-to-boil-over anger. Put 'em all on 40mg of Prozac if you ask me.

I really, REALLY hope these girls get jailtime (at an ADULT facility) not only to serve time, but to scare the living $h!t out of them. A 17 year old amongst career criminals should put the fear of God in 'em.

And, I hope the parents of the victim sue each. and. every. family. to collect heathcare costs, ongoing therapy costs and pain and suffering. Perhaps pay for wee Lindsay's college as well. You see, it's a little thing called PUNITIVE damages and yes, it's designed to PUNISH. (Como se dise "Umbrella Policy?"). If the families don't have liability insurance, then they better file for a Homestead ASAP because if it were me, and my little girl was beaten to a pulp like this girl, you can bet your shiny new shoes that I'd be going after their house and every other asset they owned. You know, to spread the pain around fairly.

But what I find amazing is that the article reported that Lindsay didn't fight back. That saddens me. Although, when I got into a fight in 7th grade behind the Skate City (oh, Eva Bartik and Heather McKenzie I still hate you to this very day) I only got in one good punch before being pushed into a puddle. *sniff* poor me. It happened so fast -- Eva swung at me, missed, I swung and popped her in the chin and she pushed me into a puddle. She had a bruise. I had wet pants. I think that was worse.

Yes, I have a smart mouth, and from all indications it appears Lindsay did too. But one action does not justify the other. Getting beaten by 6 other girls -- a gang beating really -- for having a sharp tongue doesn't jibe.

It makes me think about how to counsel my own children and I'm so glad our kids have two parents (Frederer really does balance me out).

Yes, (s)he should walk away when faced with a tormenter.
Yes, (s)he should try and work out differences with words.
Yes, (s)he should seek the help of a teacher.
Yes, (s)he should not throw the first punch (ever).

But, if they find themselves in the midst of a fight, and "fear for their lives" as Lindsay did, then they absolutely have my blessing to physically defend themselves and fight back.

And fight back hard. Knock out teeth, pull hair, go for the eyes, it's all fair game when your life is being threatened (need I remind you it was 6 against 1?).

Maybe it's totally "un-Christian" of me, I don't know. But I do know that if Frederer has his way, our kids will be in mixed martial arts by the time they're in first grade.

Long Live Matt Serra!
Long Live Georges St. Pierre!
Long Live Quinton Rampage Jackson!

And may just prevail for Lindsay.

"Just Cut Me, Mick...Cut Me"

Since deciding to go back to school for a 2nd Bachelor's Degree, I have committed myself fully to the Human Biology class I'm taking. The prof is really awesome in his presentation style, and my goodness, the man has the patience of Job when it comes to inept students failing to turn things in on time. And, many of these students are 30 and 40somethings! If I didn't turn in a proposal on time, or I was late for an RFP response, do you think I'd get a second shot at the business? Uhh no. Is the definition of "deadline" in academia something different than the business world?

I overhear him talking with students who "don't know Excel that well and can't make a graph" and "can't figure out how to login to the class website" and "why do I need a memory stick for transferring classroom assignments to you?" I'm proud to say that I have studied, I have applied myself and I have EARNED the top grade in the class -- currently, at 104.7%. Yes, I'm still "Super Golden" as he calls it. :-) There are several of us above the 100% mark and that's because the poor guy has had to apply a grade factor so the majority of the class doesn't fail miserably. They'll just fail -- they don't have to be miserable when they do so.

So, we've studied the Endocrine System and the Digestive System recently. And, in case you hadn't noticed, over 50% of the American population is overweight. There's something called the omentum (like "momentum" but without the m) and it's an apron-like sheet of connective tissue that is primarily used for fat storage. Imagine my surprise when the professor talked about how this tissue grows and grows and stores more and more fat until we finally look like this:

It is one of the primary fat storage areas of the entire human body! And, hey, it's not even weaved in and around organs -- it's an apron-like sheet that just covers the internal organs. Hey! I have an idea! I wonder...can't doctors just dissect me -- open me up just like the frogs we did in high school -- and just remove the omentum? I mean, it's only connected to muscle tissue at the top and the doctor could cauterize everything so I wouldn't hemmorage -- and that would be a good 50 pounds and 6-8" or so I bet!!! For those of us that carry our weight right in the midsection, the doc could lift out the omentum like a manhole cover and we'd be done with it! "But your body needs fat," you say? Yeah, well there's plenty on my hiney and thighs! My body can use that!

OK, I'll admit it. Me and my weirdness actually did research to see if the body actually *needs* the omentum. I know God created us and He's got a purpose for every piece and all, but hey, if we don't *need* tonsils or a spleen (both of which are part of the endocrine system, btw) then maybe we don't *need* the omentum! Hey! This could work! I might have to have surgery in Nicaragua but it just might work!

Sadly, we do need it. In all it's inflated, overpuffed and obese glory, we still need it. The omentum is important for:
Credit where credit is due.

• Blood supply: The omentum contains angiogenic factors that stimulate the growth of new blood vessels into whatever tissue it is surgically placed next to, including the brain and spinal cord.
• Lymphatic System: The omentum is rich in lymphatic vessels and tissue that are critical in removing metabolic waste and excess fluid, destroying toxic substances, and fighting disease.
• Immune System: Omental areas called “milky spots” are capable of generating specialized immune cells that facilitate healing. For example, some believe that the migration of omental immune cells can help repair injured spinal cords.
• Edema Absorption: The omentum’s lymphatic system has an enormous capacity to absorb edema fluid, including that associated with spinal cord swelling.
• Source of Biological Material: The omentum is a rich source of biological material that enhance tissue growth, including angiogenic factors, key neurotransmitters, nerve growth factors, and agents involved in inflammatory and immune processes.
• Stem Cells: Evidence suggests that omental tissue contains stem cells - omnipotent master cells that can differentiate into a variety of cell types. For example, Dr. Ignacio Garcia Gomez (Madrid, Spain) and colleagues demonstrated the presence of stem cells in the human omentum (Neurological Research, 27, December 2005). These cells were shown to synthesize key growth factors that promote vascularization when transplanted.

Well, I guess there are no quick fixes out there for weight loss. I guess I need to get my a$$ to the gym.

Injury du Jour

Gorby and Ruby are all wired after school today. They are running inside and out, up the stairs and down, tackling one another and playing tag. I ignore the occasional crying, followed by the frequent "Stop! I'm telling!" and then they're off and playing and laughing again.

Ruby is playing kind of hard with her brother and I hear laughing and then a distinct pain cry. Gorby comes to me, buries his head in my chest and sobs, "Ruby pulled my ear off!"

I look at him and say, "Alright Holyfield...let me see...which ear hurts? Oh, the red one."

I assure him that he's fine, and I ask him, "Let's make sure you can still hear out that ear, ok?" I lean in to whisper: "Can you hear me?"

"No."

:-)

Yeah, you're fine -- go on, go play.

I Just Like You

In an effort to reduce the kids' television watching, we've pretty much given up TV during the weekdays. Between picking up the kids after school, driving home, possibly stopping for an errand, them playing outside, doing a bit of homework and me making dinner, there's no time for it anyway. On the drive home from school, I usually let the kids watch a movie in the car but not in the morning on the way to school.

In the mornings, we listen to praise music and we've started something really awesome. We all take turns telling each other what we like about one another. This is much for my benefit as it is for theirs. I've started individual therapy and gee, for the low low price of $150/hr the counselor tells me I suffer from a low-self esteem. Gee, ya think? Boy, I'm sure glad you're here to tell me these things! So, one practice he recommended was to start to "parent the child within" and other psychobabble. One way is to reprogram my brain to actually hear and believe positive affirmations. And, who better to hear from than my kids??? They have such simple truth to their words and at this age they still like me! So, with some repetition and an insane amount of luck, my self-esteem might claw its way out of the gutter in which it finds iteself.

This morning was awesome. We get in the car and since it's Friday, ohhhh okayyyy, I'll let you watch a movie TO school. I'm such a softie. Ruby says, "Wait! What about "What I Like About You?"

"Oh! I almost forgot," I say and shut off the movie. "OK Ruby, you go first. What do you like about Gorby? And then, what do you like about me?"

She goes on to say that she likes Gorby because he's got a great smile and a nice laugh (and he does). She tickles him and he giggles and she and I comment on him. She then tells me, "Mom, I like you because of your talents."

"Really?" I say, "Like what kind of talents?"

"Well, you're a good cook and you scrapbook really nicely!"

"Well, thank you Ruby! Those are very kind things to say and I appreciate you telling me that. It makes me feel good inside."

I then tell her what I like about her (how sensitive she is to kids on the playground) and what I like about Gorby (how he's been keeping his room clean lately -- read: the last 8 hours).

It's Gorby's turn and he says to Ruby, "I like you for your talents."

Ruby asks, "Like what kind of talents?"

"I don't know."

"You can't just say "talents" without telling me which one you like" she replies.

"Ummm, OK. All of them," he says.

"OK Gorby," I say, "What do you like about me?"

"Ummm, I just like you," he says.

I ask, "Well, what do you like about me?"

"Ummm, all of you," he says. "Can we stop all this and watch the movie now?"

"Sure thing O Sensitive One. Yes, we can watch the movie now."

We're getting there...slowly but surely, the compliments are seeping out.

Cappuccino Gal

My drink: Venti Americano with extra cream and two Splenda. So, how is it that I'm a Capp?

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

Classic Gorby Photo

This is SO my boy!

A First Date

There's a family at our kids' school that I just think is fantastic. The few times the Mom and I have talked, she and I have a lot in common, and her two boys are in each of our kids' classrooms.

The Dad is fantastic as well, and I usually run into him at the numerous birthday parties we all attend. With the same circle of classmates, it's frequent! I have a feeling that he and Frederer would get along well, and it's a documented FACT that our kids are all compatible and thoroughly enjoy each other's company.

In the few times we've chatted about faith, they attend a Lutheran church in town. While not pew-polishers, they're not engaged in every ministry and outreach ever offered either. We're quite a lot alike and it appears we would have a comfortable friendship.

Like anything, someone needs to take the next step if we want to get to know their family better. My goodness, it's almost like a first date! Remember when you had your first date with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife? And, we've ALL been on those first dates where you're thinkin', "Ummm yeahhhh, this is going nowhere." Even in adult friendships, those "first dates" still exist and Frederer and I have invited couples/families over and then at the end of the night, looked at each other and said, "Nope."

We have friendships that are really comfortable and friendships we've had for YEARS. But it's always nice to get to know new people -- and it's REALLY awesome when the wives like each other, the husbands like each other and the kids all get along. We have that awesome kind of friendship in a Babysitting Co-Op that two girlfriends and I organized. Once a month, the host family watches all 6 kids and provides dinner while the other two couples have Date Night from 5-9pm. Aside from the occasional injury or bickering, the kids get along well, and it's a great way to put time in ONCE and get TWO date nights.

I looked at our calendar to see when we can invite the new family over and we are just slammed through the entire month of April. It's a sad, sad reality that right now. Maybe May will be better. Stay tuned for another post on being intentional about relationships and friendships.