"...and Make it a Double!"

I'm not talking about a shot of vodka or a nice smooth tequila, but that just might take the edge off as well.

Frederer has been out hunting the last five days (what smarta$$es like myself call "camping with a gun") -- and that would be FIVE (5) days with no phone calls, no help with the kids, no help with NADA and let me say, that I am SO glad he's coming home tomorrow. Hopefully, with a nice big ole' fatty wild boar slung over his shoulder just like Daniel Boon.

Ok, well, maybe not.

As long as he brings me something that mildly resembles something I would purchase at a grocery store, I'm OK with cookin' that bad boy up and servin' some chow.

But not tomorrow...

Tomorrow, Frederer comes home, and I will smile, give him a nice big kiss, ask him for the 30,000 foot and a two minute summary of his little jaunt to central California, and then wallllkkkkk ouuutttt theee doorrrr for not ONE but TWO full-length feature movies.

You see, Safeway was kind enough to have a promotion whereby you purchase $50 in select products and they'll give you two free movie tickets! Since I am the holder of said tickets, and I did the time cutting coupons and price comparing and shopping and unloading and putting away, I'm going to retain said tickets for my own personal enjoyment. Selfish? You betcha. And, I think I just might have to see me some yummy Indiana Jones on the silver screen tomorrow, and perhaps be even more ambitious and see the new Narnia movie.

All I know is that our children are lovely. And, I've had about as much lovely as I can take with school being 1/2 days this past week and our hosting a play date (which was actually fabulous and a welcome distraction).

Now I know what a single Mom feels like. I've had NO help with the kids and I'm about to go postal from all the disobedience and lying that's plagued our fair home these last 5 days. I've given out more punishments than I care to document.

My new favorite punishments are: a teaspoon of white vinegar in the mouth (yep, they have to swallow) for lying (if I'm really in a foul mood maybe I'll try cider vinegar), and a toothbrush full of Dawn dishwashing liquid for foul language to scrub away all the dirty crud that's escaping those lips.

Gorby is classic for this one. His latest is, "Mom...I almost said, "Dammit!" but I didn't! I found my self-control -- it was RIGHT HERE in my pocket -- and I didn't even say "Dammit!" when I really wanted to! Hey Ruby! I didn't say, "Dammit" when I wanted to! Isn't that great?" (Yeah, I gave him a pass on that one). And, of course, the old standby: a good old fashioned whoopin' for blantent disobedience and defiance. We've only had one of those this past week (which ain't bad considering there's two kids).

But suffice it to say that tomorrow, my hubby will be home, my feet will have a pedicure and I'll have zoned out through two movies.

ALONE.

And, it'll be fabulous.

Welcome home Frederer!

Yosemite Aftermath

I just knew that someone would develop a cold a few days after our visit to Yosemite over Memorial Day.

I was unprepared. I didn't even think about rain. Or cold, for that matter. I had envisioned weather like all my previous visits to Yosemite -- sunny and in the 70s.

But, I knew it was cold at night, so I hand the kids their winter coats to bring to the car (mistake #1). Imagine my surprise when I check the weather forecast after we're already on the road (mistake #2) and it's raining and in the 40s. Crap.

So, Gorby is outfitted in a fleece/rainslicker reversable pullover. Ruby is sporting a fleece hoodie from Old Navy. And, of course, it wouldn't be a normal day if they didn't do something to deliberately irritate me forget something, and today they chose to forget their winter coats. This whole "train your children" thing sure does have some nifty consequences for the parents too. Ruby says to me, so matter of factly: "I forgot my winter coat. We can just go to Wal-Mart and get another one."

Startled, I look at her and say, "No, we won't get another one. I bought you a size 6 at the end of the season so you would have no trouble fitting into it next year."

"What am I going to wear?" she says.

"How about the pullover you have on right now?" I say.

She looks down. "But I'll be cold."

"Yeah, probably," I say. "That's why I handed you your warm, toasty, comfy, cozy winter jacket at the house. Where is it now?"

She looks down. "In the garage."

I want to say: "Well...the garage should be nice and warm then."
I actually said, "Next time, maybe we should try and obey when I say 'Please put your coat in the car.' ok?"

"Yes, Momma."

And now...Ruby's had a wet cough since Wednesday (Gorby is healthy as a horse and never gets sick no matter what the weather -- praise God!).

And me? Yeah, I'm sick too. The Proudneck family has recently purchased stock in Mucinex. God knows we're helping to boost their top line.

But, Mom learned her lesson too: in all my rushing around to get the kids packed and the car loaded and all the last minute things like cell phone cords, sunscreen, sunglasses, TomTom cord, camera battery charger, etc... I forgot MY winter jacket. Of the entire family, I was the poor sap that only had a jean jacket.

Guess you can't win 'em all.

'Scuse me while I grab my hot tea and some Halls.

Back From Yosemite National Park

We had a terrific weekend at Yosemite National Park. Although the weather was NOT cooperating. One might actually expect to have snow on Memorial Day weekend, but we were fortunate enough to just have mist the first day and drizzle the second.

It took us a year to get reservations at Yosemite Lodge, and it's totally worth it! Especially before summer when we would normally camp. While I love camping and can't wait to come back to the Valley in the summertime when it's hot, for now, I'll stay in my cozy, comfy and heated hotel room with two warm, albeit uncomfortable, beds and appreciate the waterfalls.

On Saturday, we left the Bay Area around 1pm and got to Yosemite National Park around 7pm. We stopped for a late lunch in Stockton and filled up in Manteca. I can't tell how you bummed I was to have spend $4.29 a gallon for gasoline. I understand that the price of gas is skyrocketing, but it's getting ridiculous! Seriously, it's $110 to fill up my tank! That's totally bumming me out.

We arrived at the Valley and were greeted by a beautiful coyote! He was on the road, in the middle of a Y-intersection. Several cars pulled over to look at this beautiful creature and just as I'm about to ask the kids to look at how beautiful it is, Gorby says, "Dada, can we shoot it?" Grreeeaaatttt. My son is enamored with guns and shooting things (he's 4) and since all Frederer can do these days is talk about his upcoming hunting trip, I guess I shouldn't be shocked. The coyote was stunning, even if they are a nuisance to ranchers.

The next day we have to get up early because we have 7am reservations at the fabulous Sunday Brunch at the Awahnee Hotel. The kids are in one queen bed and Frederer and I are in the other. I roll over, say good morning to Frederer and say, "So, how'd ya sleep?" (WHY OH WHY do I ask questions to which I already know the answer???).

He groans, "Terrible. This bed blows."

Heheheh - and we're off to a great start!

We arrive at the Awahnee and as we're walking in I comment, "Heyyy this looks just. like. the. Grand. Californian. at. Disneyland!!! Frederer cocked his head and just glared at me. Hehehe. :-) I'm such the $hit-disturber! This beautiful hotel was built in the 1800s and is a log/exposed beam type hotel. Just gorgeous! Perhaps the Grand Californian was modeled after this hotel, I don't know, but it's truly breathtaking. We were seated in the atrium and had a front row seat to Lower Yosemite Falls. The brunch was fabulous, and I think my favorite item was the Cheese Blintzes with blueberry sauce. YUM!

We took a small hike up to Bridalveil Falls, which was lovely. I shuffled up the paved trail, huffing and puffing, all the while blaming it on the altitude, and finally arrived at the vista point. Frederer was already up there with Gorbulas and Ruby, looks at me and quips, "Are ya ready for Half Dome?" Har de har har, smartass. The ascent is only about 14% grade and only something like 1,000 feet (that would be 1,000 feet from the trailhead -- not in elevation gain.) How pathetic am I? When I rounded the last turn, I got hit smack dab in the face with mist from the fall! I managed to protect my camera and catch some good photos.

We then went on a walk to Happy Isles. It was so great just walking through the peaceful woods, which I called "Muir Woods on Steroids," with Frederer. Ruby and Gorby rode their bikes through the forest, on paved and dirt trails, and had a blast. After a while walking and biking, we went back to the room, the kids watched a movie, and Momma took a nap.

Yosemite Lodge has a Food Court, so after my and Gorby's nap we had a late lunch around 3pm. By then it was really raining outside. Sort of like Seattle rain. More than a mist, but less than the rains of Sonoma County in March. We needed ponchos. We went to the Gift Shop and bought two ponchos and the clerk was kind enough to give us two garbage bags to make into ponchos for the kids. Ruby was NOT happy. Her complaint: everyone but her was wearing yellow. I looked at Frederer and said, "That's a LOT of yellow for one man!" (Name that movie!)

We decide to take the Valley Shuttle Bus to the other side of the park and walk to Mirror Lake. Although, I was Debbie Downer and just wanted to make sure everyone knew that we wouldn't be seeing anything in the "mirror" because it was overcast. Heck, we hadn't even seen Half Dome! It's was covered by low clouds and fog.

So we're at the bus stop and decide to ditch Mirror Lake and walk to Lower Yosemite Falls. Just as we finish our conversation, Frederer grins and says, "The inside of my poncho is warm."

"Huh?" I say. He grins and I think about it some more. "Did you fart in your poncho?"

"Yep." I shake my head. What *is* it with guys and farting?

Lower Yosemite Falls is near our lodge and certainly within walking distance. And, it's my favorite waterfall in the entire Valley and flowing with a vengeance! I think May is the best time of year to see the waterfalls. If we waited until July-August, when it was hot and not raining, we would miss out on the fullness of the waterfalls. But, the tradeoff is that it's 45 degrees outside and raining.

We decide to let the kids go puddle stomping -- heck, it's our last outing of the day, and we have a radiator and a blow dryer in the room. They had a blast. As we got some sideways glances from some foreigners, a lady from deep, deep, deep Central America grins at us and out pops her silver front tooth!!! She goes running after it as it clink-clink-clinks down the rocks. She finds it, and as God is my witness, pops that sucker right back in her mouth. And grins again. Frederer and I just burst out laughing -- of course, we blamed our laughing on the kids' antics and tried to play it off. Too flippin' funny.

There were many other good times, which I can't remember as of this writing, but rest assured we had a fabulous time. Our little getaway was just perfect for what we needed. We took a moment to give thanks for our great country and for the servicemen and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice. Hope this Memorial Day was peaceful for you all.

Read a Thon Fundraiser Ideas

I was overly ambitious this school year, and signed up to volunteer a couple of big events at our small, private school. The first was the Christmas Program dessert reception -- for a wee 500 students, parents, family and friends. It was incredible, and I had some fabulous help.

The other event I chaired was the Read a Thon. I had never done a Read a Thon before and let me tell you, I would take planning a dessert reception for 500 people any day over another Read a Thon! It's just a LOT of work. I searched online for tips and techniques, prize ideas, duration, etc and surprisingly enough, found little to work with. So, in case any of you are planning your next Read a Thon and need some tips...

Lessons Learned:

• Generally speaking, parents are flaky. Don't have faith that they will support you 100% because they won't. They'll admire you for your efforts, and throw you a bone, but if you're looking for this to be a big money maker, lower your expectations immediately.
• Consider the timing. We have fund raisers all the time, and by the end of the school year, parents are burned out of writing check after check after check for the endless fundraising of a private school.
• Buy less awards than you think you'll need. We had 90 kids (out of our 140) sign up for the Read a Thon. I bought awards for 75. Today is the deadline, and I have 38 returned pledge envelopes. Awards are given next Wednesday. I feel really bad that I bought extra prizes with my budget money (which were imprinted with this year's logo and unreturnable).
• Volunteers SAY they want to help, but when push comes to shove, they don't show. I know, I know...everybody's busy. Wahhh. So, manage the workload accordingly, so you won't be overwhelmed when you get stuck doing 90% of the work!

So far, I have 38 pledge envelopes in my hot little hands. Our kids have collected $3,337 and read a total of 5,072 minutes! I'm so proud of them. But I don't know how this Read a Thon compares to other Read a Thons of years past. I know that *I* worked hard, but who knows if my efforts were significantly less than yesteryear.

Our theme was the Reading Roadtrip from Scholastic Books (we tied it into the Book Fair theme). I downloaded a bunch of clipart from the theme website and crafted a reading plan for the students to read their way across the country.

I developed a cool map where the kids would start in Northern California (in our fair city), "read" their way to Portland, then to Seattle, then to Yellowstone National Park. If they arrived in Yellowstone, they won a prize (a break your own geode from Oriental Trading Company -- otherwise known as the Oriental $h!t Shop). Then, the kids would continue reading in 15-minute increments to Chicago, Boston, New York, Washington DC, Miami, Dallas, Denver, The Grand Canyon, San Diego, Disneyland/Anaheim, San Francisco, and then back at our city. The interval between each stop was 15 minutes, and the time parents read to their preschool children counted and the time that elementary and junior high spent reading for their classroom reading assignments counted (ie, 20 minutes of free reading - not "read Chapter 2 of Biology...)

The other prizes along the way were:
Boston: personalized pencils that said, "I Read All the Way to Boston!"
Miami: a roll of Happy Face Sun Stickers (to commerate sunny Miami)
Denver: a notepad in shape of a coin (in honor of the Denver Mint)
Northern California: grape flavored candy in honor of our beautiful Wine Country

Each student that participated won a Reading Roadtrip bookmark and a Free Homework Pass, and those that received pledges of $25 or more won a Reading Roadtrip book bag. These guys did our custom bookbags and were inexpensive, quick to process and the items were well packed. We would use them again I think. (Another lesson learned: Do NOT offer a student a free homework pass on the last day of school, after finals are done. DOH! "Uhh, kids? Just keep it on the fridge till next year!" I'm such a doofus, but it sounded like such a good idea at the time!!!).

The individual prizes were:

Top Pledge (Preschool): Tote 'n Go Laptop
Top Minutes Read (Preschool): Tote 'n Go Laptop

Top Pledge (K-4): vTech Reading Laptop
Top Minutes Read (K-4): vTech Reading Laptop

Top Pledge (5-8): 2GB MP3 Player
Top Minutes Read (5-8): 2GB MP3 Player

Top Class Pledges: Ice Cream Social/Banana Splits
Top Class Minutes Read: Ice Cream Social/Banana Splits

Our Read a Thon was one week long (5 days). Pledge period was the prior two weeks and all thru the Read a Thon, and our collection period was the two weeks following the Read a Thon.

I developed a swanky Excel spreadsheet with all sorts of =SUMIF, =COUNT and =IF statements so I would just have to type in the student name, the pledge amount and the minutes read. That way I didn't have to tally anything manually. It saved a ton of time.

If you're looking for help, please feel free to email me (on my profile) and I'll offer whatever help I can! And good luck with your Read a Thon!

Quality Time with Ruby

Thank you all for the very kind and helpful comments on my previous post, Struggles with Ruby. Frederer and I have made a concerted effort to slowwwww down and pay just a bit more attention to Ruby. I am not shouting as much, and I've made a huge effort to be fun, joke with the kids, play with them more, go out and ride bikes with them, etc. We had a fabulous couple of days homework-wise, and the lil' stinker is just as good a reader as she ever was. Her problem appears to be confidence-related, which appears to be linked to (what I've discovered as) her primary Love Language -- Quality Time.

Ruby and I decided that she would accompany me up to my office and she'd sit at one desk and I would sit at the other. She'd do her homework and I'd be at my computer doing one of a billion things on my plate that day. She got a bit squirmish, saying, "Don't leave me!" and I glanced over, outstretched my arm and said, "See? I'm right here. If you stretch your arm, you can touch mine." She did and all was well with the world. She finished her homework without being distracted and did a great job staying on task.

Her handwriting has improved, her math homework is spot-on, and even her reading has improved. Her teacher, Miss Lovely, reports that Ruby has made a huge improvement. Miss Lovely sits next to her in reading groups, and as she moves her finger from word to word to guide her, Ruby reads just perfectly -- no matter how slow or fast Miss Lovely goes. She moved her finger slowly at first and then sped up and up and up, and Ruby didn't miss a beat. So....what gives?

It's obviously not vision related.
It's obviously not that she doesn't know the words.
It's something to do with feeling secure and confident and having someone right next to her.
Or, she's just being completely maniuplative, which I wouldn't put past her.

But I think she's a Quality Time kid and I've been making an effort to spend quality time with her. Which makes it difficult since I am a Gifts and Acts of Service person. Isn't it interesting how God gives us kids that are completely different than us? How we show love -- in my case, through giving gifts to people and through acts of service -- is NOT how another person might interpret love. If they're a Quality Time person, and I give them a gift, they're grateful and all...but, it doesn't mean as much to them as it would to me.

Its an interesting scenario in which to find oneself. It takes concerted effort and thought to love another person in the way that they interpret love. Frederer is a Words of Encouragement person -- NOT A GREAT MATCH for a person like myself that can cut another person to the quick with my sharp tongue.

Knowing how we show love -- and how our loved ones interpret love -- is one of the keys to a great relationship.

Do you know what your love language is? Take the quiz here. You just might discover something new about love.

Do you know your child's love language? If not, this document might help.

Struggles with Ruby

Alright all you experienced Moms and Dads out there...we need some advice.

Ruby's Kindergarten teacher asked for a meeting with Frederer and me to discuss "Ruby's reading skills." Evidently, she's been demoted from the top reading group to the mid-level reading group because she's regressing in her reading.

When she first began to read, she picked up letter sounds and blends very quickly. She was a good reader, but Frederer and I know she's a lazy reader. She likes the pictures, so she'll look at the picture, glance at the words and try to surmise what the sentence is saying. Now, she's fighting the teacher and us whenever we sit down for reading time. She complains, moans, says things are too hard, that she doesn't know the words, and a whole litany of excuses of why she doesn't want to read.

In class, each child reads with the teacher one-on-one and then reads alone or aloud in their reading group. She is adding letters where there are none, and makes up words where there are none. She's not mixing up letter sequences, but she's definitely adding them.

The day after the teacher brought this to my attention and requested the meeting, I sat down with Ruby to go through her homework with her. Oh yeah, that's another issue: the teacher says that she's now terribly UNconfident in working independently. She was fine the first two trimesters, but this trimester, she's just regressing incredibly fast. She doesn't want to work independently, and asks the teacher to sit next to her, and not to "leave her". She seems to flounder around and stumble until the teacher shadows her, at which time she breezes through the homework assignment with ease, accuracy and speed.

So I sit down with Ruby for her to read a Level 1 book, Fancy Nancy and the Boy From Paris. She refuses to read. She moans and complains, and drags her feet. I assure her that we're not going to read all 32 pages, but that she needs to take one page at a time, one sentence at a time, one word at a time. No worries...the assignment is to read for 10 minutes with "parental supervision for accuracy." What's not to like about Fancy Nancy???

She reluctantly reads a few words, struggling and stumbling through each of them. The kicker is, I know she knows these words. The ones that she doesn't know, we sound out together. So, there's something else going on here.

I ask her how she's feeling about school lately. I ask her about her best friend Rebecca, who has recently left the school. Her mother isn't altogether stable, but Ruby and Rebecca were fast friends and I encouraged their friendship. In a class of 10 Kindergartners, losing one has a huge impact -- and we've lost 3 and gained 2. So, there's been some shakeup in the Kindergarten class.

She says she misses Rebecca a ton and wants to have a playdate. I explain that good friends will remain good friends regardless of whether we see them each day. I say, look at Auntie Kim and Mommy -- we've been friends since we were high schoolers and I only see her a few times a year. And Aunt Polly and Mommy -- and Miss Stephanie and Mommy -- we're friends, and we talk on the phone but we don't SEE each other often. I still love my friends and they still love me. That seemed to reassure her.

I suggest we start again so we can finish the sentence and close the book. I explain about bookmarks and how we don't have to read an entire book in one sitting. That seemed to help.

All of a sudden, she sits back, gets tears in her eyes and says to me, "You threw away my worksheets!!! Even the ones with the double stars and the "Wow" stickers!!!!"

I'm stunned.

I'm speechless.

Oh my gosh, I've just crushed my little girl's heart by throwing away her weekly worksheets!

Shit!

I take advantage of the teachable moment in front of me, and I take her hands, look her in straight in the eye and tell her how sorry I am that I hurt her heart. I ask for her forgiveness and tell her that I won't throw away her worksheets again, and that I didn't know she wanted me to keep her worksheets. We agree to start a big pile and then we can go through them together and pull the ones we want to keep forever and ever. I give her a big hug and she's now sobbing -- from the depths of her heart -- sobbing.

What got me was that I threw them away, "even the ones with the double stars." That tells me she's saying, "Hey Mom, I did fantastic work (got double stars even!) and you even threw THAT away. Is there nothing I do that's good?" Which does wonders for the whole "Mom-esteem" department.

After we reconciled, I brought out a big red photo album where I keep a lot of their best artwork. I explain that I keep their beautiful creations so I can have them "always", but that I did not know she wanted me to keep her worksheets too. We go through it page by page, recalling where she was when she made said item, we look at a couple of Gorby's which are also thrown in there too. We walk around the kitchen and I show her all the artwork on the walls and the trivets and the magnets that were made from their art. I drop to one knee, get down on her level and try as best as I can to reassure her that she's loved, valued and that her creations are priceless to me and that I would never get rid of them. I reassure her that I'll start to save her worksheets too.

Today, for extra measure, I framed a couple of her artwork items and hung them in my office -- right where she can see them. I have a few others thumbtacked to my hutch's backsplash. There's evidence all over my office and home that Ruby's (and Gorby's) work is important. That seemed to help.

The teacher said that she began to read a bit better the last day or so, but there's still a struggle happening. Maybe it's Spring Fever? Maybe it's the loss of her best friend Rebecca? Maybe it's the worksheets issue? Maybe it's something like dyslexia? or the words are just too hard? Maybe it's a combination of all these things...I don't know.

Personally, I think reading is not the issue here; her reading, or lack thereof, is a symptom. It's her way to control something because most things are so much outside of her control. And with a controlling Mom like me, it was inevitable...

Anybody have experience or advice they can share? Thanks for listening.

Air Condition Me

Frederer and I had these lofty goals of not using our air conditioner this summer -- you know, so we could tighten the belt and save some money. But there's a fine line between melting and paying an extra $50 a month to run the AC.

It's been SO hot here the last few days -- I think I heard it hit 102 here today. And that's HOT. Even mid-90s are tough for me, so I think we'll be using the AC this summer. Normally, we keep the house at a very pleasant 70 but I think -- you know -- in the effort to conserve and all -- we'll set it at 72. :-)

Adam and Eve.... wait, I mean Adam and Steve

I wish we could fire State Supreme Court justices.

Unless you live under a rock (or at least don't have internet access!) you by now have heard that the California State Supreme Court has overturned the voter-approved law that state a marriage is between one man and one woman. Evidently, the voters don't have a say anymore, even when the legislature considers our desires, brings them to the floor, debates them, approves them, puts them out to the voters and then the voters affirm it...nope, these 7 people have decided that they know better.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm all for freedom. What you do in the confines of your own home is your business. I do believe that people who (albeit, in my opinion, are misguided) are homosexual and in a committed relationship should be allowed the same luxuries of married couples (ie, shared property, health insurance benefits, beneficiary benefits, health care decisions, etc), but it's not the same as a MARRIAGE. A marriage contract between a man and a woman was originally designed for procreation and the building of a family. That was the historical intent. But debating the definition of marriage is not the purpose of this post.

I would have thought that the domestic partner initiative would have appeased everyone, but NO, it's "not the same" they cry, and so starts the lawsuits. But here's what really gets me...

The judges overturned a decision that was the will of the people.

In fact, it went to the voters TWICE and both times it was voted upon that marriage should be between a man and a woman. MARRIAGE has a definition, and similarly, a DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP should be between whomever and whomever.

The gays cry, "But there's not the same rights!" BUNK!

A wife automatically has rights to pull the plug on her husband should he be a vegetable.
A domestic partner has those same rights -- with a Durable Power of Attorney and Medical Directive.

A husband automatically has rights to the wife's property should she die.
A domestic partner has those same rights -- with a Will and Trust.

A wife automatically retains custody of children of the marriage, by birth or adoption, should the husband die.
A domestic partner has those same rights -- with a Will.

A husband, at the wife's election, can be included on the wife's corporate health insurance plan.
A domestic partner -- in the State of CA -- can ALSO be on a corporate health insurance plan by filing their Certification of Domestic Partnership with the employer.

And the tax benefits?
Well, if you're a DINK (dual income no kids) you're screwed if you're married because you have no deductions, so in that case, it's better to be single filing anyway!

This isn't about rights. It's about being socially accepted and these justices are trying to legislate morality. The article today reads:

California already offers same-sex couples who register as domestic partners the same legal rights and responsibilities as married spouses, including the right to divorce and to sue for child support.

But, "Our state now recognizes that an individual's capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation," Chief Justice Ron George wrote for the court's majority, which also included Justices Joyce Kennard, Kathryn Werdegar and Carlos Moreno.

Just out of curiosity why on EARTH does the above bolded phrase need to be put into LAW?
It's not like Domestic Partnerships are denying anyone rights. But, it's just not the SAME as a marriage.

From the dawn of time, marriage has always been between a man and a woman -- and for the longest time marriage wasn't even a political or governmental issue: it was a religious one! God created His economy that way -- it's for the good of the man, the good of the woman, the good of the children.

Nobody is saying that a homosexual couple can't love each other. Sure -- by all means -- find someone with whom you want to share your life and go for it. But, it's NOT THE SAME as a marriage. Perhaps, now that I think about it, I think I would prefer to have the word "marriage" be reclassified to ONLY be a religious term and "partnership" be a political and governmental one. Both are classified the same for benefits purposes, but there's an inherent difference.

I think what saddens me most is that the court didn't listen to the wishes of the voters. It's the same as if the court issued a ruling that said, "Nope, the legal age of drinking in California will now be....ummm, 12!" Uhhh, excuse me? Justices? Uhhh don't you guys work for US, the voters? Didn't we, the voters, vote into law the drinking age will be 21?

We are a country of laws, people! That's what makes this a great place to live! We establish and abide by our laws. I don't have to agree with all the laws, and I'm free to break them if I wish, but there are established rules nonetheless. And if you don't like the laws, you go back to the voters to get it changed. You don't just willy-nilly overturn the law when the voters have said their peace just because justices don't agree with them.

The Court, instead of expanding the Domestic Partnership laws to include those things that homosexuals were decrying as "unfair," just threw us all into one big category.

And, sakes alive, you should see the celebration in the City today. Celebrate all you want...but just like Affirmative Action attempted to correct and rebalance inequities (but didn't), gay marriage won't change the core beliefs of the vast majority of this country -- and the vast majority of the California voting population.

It's a sad day in CA today....at least for me. Thank goodness there's a plan in place to contest this decision.

A coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a measure on the November ballot that would enshrine laws banning gay marriage in the state constitution.

The Secretary of State is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signatures to qualify the marriage amendment, similar to ones enacted in 26 other states.

If voters pass the measure in November, it would trump the court's decision.

Justification for a Neighborhood Homeowners Assocations

Wordless Wednesday...

oh okay, maybe ONE word: "gardener?"

Mom...I'm Bored!

Remember Saturday morning cartoons, where the Wile E. Coyote would look at the Roadrunner who would mysteriously morph into a chicken leg or perhaps a pot of stew over firey coals? We had that very SAME phenomenon here at our home!

I recently did our summer activities planning and mysteriously enough, both of my children have visually morphed into a dollar sign which is going up in a blaze of glory!!! :-) Goodness gracious! I've heard that "kids are expensive" but man alive, they are EXPENSIVE!

The economy is hitting us hard and we're feelin' the pain of gas prices (anyone else suffering out there?) I drive an SUV and I did a quick calculation, which in hindsight I probably should NOT have done (ignorance really is bliss), and it costs me $16 per day just to drive the kids to/from school. Hence, we've decided to NOT enroll Ruby or Gorby for this year's school summer camp. I would say that I'll probably save at least $100 a week in gas just by NOT driving the 26 mile round trip to/from school. Gorby is still considered a preschooler so he's priced at a whopping $750 a month, and Ruby's fees would be about $600 per month. Oh yeah, not to mention the soft costs of not being with my kids away at camp each day... I wouldn't even SEE them. I really miss my kiddos when they're at school and want 'em home this summer.

I think I'm going to be extra efficient and work M-Th and take Fridays off. We've hired a college-aged babysitter to come to the house from 9-2pm to do crafts with them, play in the backyard, go on field trips, the park, the amusement park, the library, swimming lessons and summer rec classes. I have high hopes and am confident things will be sufficiently balanced.

Tomorrow is the first day of summer registration at our local parks and recreation district. Have you noticed how competitive summer camp and activity registration is? Goodness gracious! People are mapping out the catalog, getting all their contingencies planned and are armed with the exact date and time the online registration opens. It's almost as if folks are camping out waiting for Rush tickets!

Oh.

That's not everyone?

That's just me?

Hmmm.

Interesting.

By now I've scoured the activities guide to make my list (I can hear my Mom chuckling now) of which sessions to enroll the kids.

T-Ball, Soccer, Ballet for Ruby, one-week soccer camp for each of the kids and swimming lessons 3 days/week should keep the kids sufficiently exhausted busy and active all summer long and Frederer's and my checking account fully drained.

I'm armed with our season passes to the local amusement park and am looking forward to the summer reading program at the library. We've identified the free days at the movie theater, SF Zoo, Exploratorium, and Bay Area Discovery Museum.

We're also taking our August summer trip to Colorado to see my family. This annual trek is quite fun and it's great to see family and friends.

Bored kids are the worst. Correction: a bored GORBULAS is the worst. If there's no plan, no attack; no attack, no victory! I believe we're all set -- and the words, "Mom...I'm bored!" shant be uttered!

Happy Mother's Day to a Fabulous Lady

Ruby and Grandma

My Mom is a terrific lady. She's well respected and liked by many people with whom she works, worships and volunteers. She is compassionate, sensitive, patient, and a bit naive. She trusts people. She loves people. And she would give you the shirt off her back her best pair of earrings should you forget your own.

She loves God. She loves my Dad. She loves me and my brother. She loves my sister-in-law as if she were her own, and she loves my husband the same. She cherishes time with my children. She's a great wife to my father.

She's pragmatic and sensible. She's no nonsense. She's funny and I love the way she laughs. I also love the way she blows her nose -- I can identify her across the sanctuary and know that it's her. She hates that I'm using the word "she." ;-)

She loves to entertain, cook (but not bake), arrange flowers and learn new things. If she could make a career out of learning, she would. She's intelligent, but not street smart.

She's my Mother and I love her unconditionally. She's my friend. She's a fabulous lady that I wish you all could know.

I love you Mom! There's no one like you.

Happy Mother's Day!

PMS Rant

Ok, I must give credit where credit is due. This woman from Austin, TX just had me in stitches. So flipping funny I was seriously crying!

Enjoy...



Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying
jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants, which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so
painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

“Have a Happy Period.”

Are you 'effin kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling & laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly revenue, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.

Always. . .

Best,
Wendi
Austin , TX

No Joy

This morning on the way to school, the kids were hilarious. I refuse to allow them to watch DVDs on the way TO school, but I'm an ole' softy on the way home. And, considering they don't watch much (if any) TV during the week, I'm pretty much ok with the 20 minute drive home.




Its probably noteworthy that I'm not one of those Moms that restrict TV viewing because of the innate harmfulness in creating a generation of obese couch potato children (although that is a noble cause); our family simply doesn't have time during the week. We are going, going, going from the 3:00 p.m. bell till bedtime with other priorities like playing outside with the dogs, doing homework, preparing dinner and the ever-lengthy "clean up your room" routine.

So, on the way TO school, no TV. By nature, I'm fairly half-empty, and I don't want to instill that virtue in my kids. So on the way TO school, I started two new things each day to help us think more positively, think about others and to start our day off right:

1. we each tell one thing that we like about the other people in the car (Mom included). I've even been brave enough to say, "OK Gorby, what do you like about me?" (*gasp* I'm waiting for the day when he grumbles, "Nothing."
2. we listen to either KLOVE or other Christian music.

Today? We listened to Children's Bible Songs on CD. And, Gorby wasn't havin' any of it this mornin', I tell you what! His sister just gets the best of him sometimes, and she just sets him off. One day, I know he's gonna haul off and pop her a good one right in the kisser.



So, Ruby is seated in the far back and Gorby is in the 2nd row. The song, "I Got the Joy" comes on the CD. Gorby's not to amused.

Here's how the conversation went:



Ruby: (singing) "I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart...."
Mom: WHERE?
Gorby: NOOOOOOO!
Ruby: (singing) down in my heart...
Mom: WHERE?
Ruby: (singing) down in my heart...
Gorby: NOOOOOOO! No JOY!



It's only the first verse and Ruby's now discovered that her singing is immensely aggravating to Gorby.

And, she's grinnin' like the Cheshire Cat.

You see, Ruby is sitting directly BEHIND Gorby, and is out of his reach. The only thing the poor boy can do it slouch in his carseat, moan and cover his ears. He looks like the wicked witch being melted and shrieks just as loudly.



Ruby: (singing) "I got the love of Jesus, love of Jesus, down in my heart...."
Gorby: NOOOOOOO!
Ruby: (singing) down in my heart...
Gorby: Maaaaaaaooooooooommmmmmmm!
Ruby: (singing) down in my heart...
Gorby: NOOOOOOO! No Love!

I'm doing everything I can not to laugh at the scene unfolding before me.



I say, "Shall I shut the music off? How can you continue to fight while singing about the love of Jesus?"



Ruby: NOOOO!
Gorby: YESSSSSS!

I shut the music off to save Gorby from going insane.



Ruby: (still singing) "I got the peacethatpassesunderstanding...."
Gorby: NOOOOOOO! Ru.by.Shut.It!
Ruby: (whispering now) down in my heart...
Gorby: Maaaaaoooooooommmmmmmm!



Mom? Crackin' up laughing....