Testimonial: Oprah's Favorite Turkey Burger

At a Bunko event on Friday night, the star of the buffet table was, by far, Oprah's favorite turkey burger -- the Mar-a-Lago Turkey Burger.

I made them as mini-burgers about 2" square and they were a huge hit. Every single person at the Bunko event (17 in all!) enjoyed them and a good majority asked for the recipe.

What's so special about them? It's hard to say. I'm not a chef. But, I know what tastes good and what doesn't. I think it's the apple, personally.

I altered the recipe slightly, because I thought 3 granny smith's were just one too many. I used Tapatio instead of the tabasco and I used all fresh herbs from my-very-own-grown-from-seeds- stash of fresh herbs. Trader Joe's didn't have Major Grey's chutney, so I used Mango-Ginger instead and heck, when you're doctoring up a burger with all this, does brand names really matter? I think not.

The recipe says it serves six. And, it calls for 4 lbs of ground turkey. Now, I'm no math-major but that seems like a LOT of ounces per person. So, I used three 1.25 packages and I made 24 mini burgers (and still have some left over that I froze). I used the Hawaiian soft sweet rolls (mini) as the bread.

We need to introduce non-beef entrees into our family's diet, and in all, I'd say we have a winner in this one! I give it a thumbs-up!

Anybody else try it yet?

Mar-a-Lago Turkey Burger

INGREDIENTS
1/4 cup scallions, thinly sliced
1/2 cup celery, finely chopped
3 Granny Smith apples, peeled and diced
1/8 cup canola oil
4 pounds ground turkey breast
2 Tbsp. salt
1 Tbsp. black pepper
2 tsp. chipotle Tabasco™
1 lemon, juice and grated zest
1/2 bunch parsley, finely chopped
1/4 cup Major Grey's Chutney, pureed

Sauté the scallions, celery and apples in the canola oil until tender. Let cool. Place the ground turkey in a large mixing bowl. Add sautéed items and the remaining ingredients. Shape into eight 8-ounce burgers. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Season the turkey burgers with salt and pepper. Place on a preheated, lightly oiled grill. Grill each side for 7 minutes until meat is thoroughly cooked. Let sit for 5 minutes. Serve with a side of Mar-a-Lago Pear Chutney and your favorite toasted bread, pita or hamburger roll.

Family Vacation: Disneyland and Legoland

Our family has been so busy, we can't even believe summer is HERE, let alone it's the end of June. I'm feeling ever-so-behind-the-8-ball and so far we haven't relaxed at all. I looked online at Go City Kids to see if there was anything fun to do this weekend. Listed there was the "Red White and Blue Parade" in Citrus Heights. "Red, White and Blue Parade?!?" I thought to myself, "What are they thinking? It's only JUNE!" Ummm, HELLO. It's the LAST weekend in June before the 4th of July. That hit me hard.

July? Already? *sigh*

It just made me sad because time flies too fast and I'm not really taking the time to enjoy it. I find myself continually striving for what I think is peace. A clean home, warm and folded laundry, a perfectly manicured backyard landscape, and a glass of cold lemonade on a sunny afternoon day. Wait...no, my new favorite drink is Smirnoff Ice. Yummy. A couple of those will take the edge off. Wait...where was I? Oh yeah, summertime peace. Don't forget the kids actually NAP during their quiet time and the BBQ that's marinating! I mean, really, it is a dream isn't it? Instead, I find myself observing the holes my dogs have dug in the backyard, the dead annuals thanks to the California heat, my incessant cough from the NorCal fires (yes, there were 900 fires burning last week), the numerous piles of stuff that's accumulating on the stairs, cranky children at 5pm because they didn't nap, AND the ever present Mount Washmore that's waiting for me in the laundry room.

But I am grateful. I think about the many blessings I have and I am SO thankful. I think about the fact that I HAVE a home that is slighly cluttered, I HAVE children that don't want to nap, that I HAVE a beautiful lawn that has dog-holes, that I HAVE health insurance if the fires-cough gets to be too much and that I HAVE a washer and dryer to deal with Mount Washmore.

But, I'm tired and I am thankful. I think the two can co-exist.

Our family just returned from a week-long vacation (NOT relaxing) at Disneyland and Legoland. It was fabulous. We "sort of" vacationed with two other families and met up with them at various points throughout the week, and it was great (I wish we had met up more -- how cool would have it been to have a whole picture of the 12 of us in front of the Castle?). The kids all get along; the wives get along and the husbands all get along.

Disneyland was unbearably hot and there were 658 million people there. I guess Disney has a reduced-usage season pass for locals and we went on the last two days the SoCal-ers could use this pass. Anyway, I'm thankful we were able to go and we had a lot of fun.

Legoland was fantastic and, equally as great (or better) than Disneyland! My two fantastic nephews flew in from Denver and the 6 of us had a great time. They are 10 and 6 and get along great with our kids. They love on each other; they fight; they laugh; they shout. Yeah, it's family.

Legoland is perfect for kids under 10. If you haven't gone yet -- DO IT. The location is perfect -- Carlsbad is only 1 hr south of Disneyland and it's right on the coast. The breeze is ever-present, it's always 78-85 degrees and Legoland management actually gave some forethought to providing shade and areas for parents to sit while their youngsters went on rides (ever been to the Disneyland teacups? Snow White ride? Alice? ANYWHERE in Fantasyland? Yeah, not one bench in the place.)

The rides were entertaining enough for adults and actually FIT the kids. Because we went to Legoland and the kids did a TON of roller-coasters there, when we did our final day at Disneyland they weren't afraid of the Matterhorn or the Big Thunder Railroad rollercoaster whatsoever. And, our little troopers went on Splash Mountain (THREE TIMES) and Space Mountain (well, one of our little troopers). I was shocked -- DL can only get better for our family now that the kids are more mobile and we'll be *gasp* stoller-less.

The best part of Legoland was the water play area. A huge bucket 'o water gets dumped on kids every 4.5 minutes. There's a ton of kids in this area of the park and they look like little ants all over an anthill. Big, small, tween, young, wet, dry, parents, grandparents, everybody is there observing this amazing attraction. Some locals suggested bringing swimsuits and they were right. The kids must have played in this area for over an hour. It was great, and they had a blast. AND they were sufficiently wiped out, so they all slept well that night. :-) There's so much more I could share on Legoland, it should be an entire post in an of itself.

We also went to Medieval Times for Frederer's 34th birthday and he was knighted. It was great. But the best part was the cake snafu.

I make these reservations ahead of time for an 8:45pm dinner and show for 18 people. We figured we'd leave the hotel about 7:30, head to Vons, pick up a cake and be there 8:00-8:15. We get a call at 7:15 from one of the other families. "Where are you guys?" Tonester says. "What? What do you mean?" I say, "It starts at 8:45pm." "Yeah, but you have to BE HERE by 7:00 when the doors open."

Crap.

There I am just finishing ironing my clothes. Thankfully, all 4 kids were showered, ready and waiting for me to finish (they even had their shoes on!).

"Quick! Get the kids in the car!" I say to Frederer. "I'll be down in 3 minutes!!!"

He assumes the Drill Sergeant role and, "Alright you huskies, let's mush on down to the car! go, Go, GOOOOO you soldiers! Move it!!! Assigned seats, just like always!" I grab my makeup, two clips (my hair is NOT done by any stretch) and I race to the elevator.

We're driving to get to Medieval Times and I tell Frederer, "I really, really wanted to get you a cake. I'm so sorry you don't even have a cake on your birthday."

He shrugs. "It's ok. You know the "apple pastry" is legendary at Medieval Times." Har de har har. (Editor's Note: Every have a McDonald's apple pie? Yeah, it's the same thing at MT.)

No sooner are we in the car 5 minutes, our faithful Henry (our Tom Tom GPS) guiding our every move, that the family calls back. "False alarm," he says. "They tell you to come at 7pm so you'll sit in the bar, buy drinks, buy tickets to their other attractions (ie, a Dungeon) or take a tour of the horses/stable area. All of which I am OK on passing. You got an hour to kill."

"Hey!" I smile. "We can stop and get a cake!!!" He smiles... "Ok, let's go get a cake."

We look around. We're lost in Buena Park/Garden Grove area of LA. We look around and see Korean BBQ stores, Mexican restaurants (like REAL mexican restaurants -- not El Torito), and Indian Restaurants with signs written in Indian. NOT exactly the location of your neighborhood Whole Foods or Safeway. Henry is no help -- there's no grocery store for at least 5 miles.

We pull into a "Fresh and Fast" supermarket and Frederer looks at me and grins, "Fresh. AND. Fast! Yeah baby! Do you think WE could be fresh and fast?" We look at the 4 kids behind us. Ummm, maybe not. :-)

I go into this store, which is basically a Smart 'n Final on a smaller scale. No bakery. No cakes. I think, "I wonder if I should just get him a Mrs. Smith's Apple Pie." Heheh. Frozen. Heheh. I giggle at my nonsense.

I stop a couple and ask, "Hey, do you know where there's a Vons or another bigger grocery store where I can get a birthday cake? I need it for tonight. Well, I need it right now actually."

The man's appearance is awesome -- leathery, probably comin' down off some trip, full sleeve tats on both arms, wrinkled, weathered, buzz haircut, and clothes that have seen better days. His woman looks the same. But they were super cool and very helpful.

"You need a cake now?" he says.

"Yeah. What about that panderia I saw over there?" I say.

"Oh yeah, man, that place is killer. They have the best fu-king birthday cakes ever." he says

My eyebrows go up and my eyes widen. "Well, alrighty then! That's great! I'll go there. Thanks." and I high tail it, flip-flopping my way out of the store. We're not so formal in our home that we don't let the occasional swear word escape our lips every once in a while, but to use the f-word as an actual adjective? Yeah, we don't do that.

I go into the panderia and look at their cakes. The place smelled AMAZING. It's hot as hell in there, but amazing. The lady who helps me is very nice and I select the Tres Leches cake (just shy of chocolate cake/chocolate frosting as my all time favorite). I ask if she can write on it, and she says, "Oh sure."

I tell her the birthday boy's name is "Frederer" and God love her, she just wrote "Frederer." (Just like that. First name only -- with the period). Not "Happy Birthday Frederer." Just Frederer with a period (in a totally off color btw). Well, alrighty then. I figure I'm game, so I ask for the "Feliz Cumpleanos" stick greeting and I shove it on top and giggle my way out of the store.

I share my experience with Frederer who just laughs at me and rolls his eyes. I guess I think it's funnier than he does.

We arrive at Medieval Times with plenty of time to enjoy our friends, the dinner and the show. You can get another family's take here. While our kids aren't spoiled at all (we basically shoved them onto Splash Mountain: "Go'on now, git! Yu'll luv it.") we concur with her assessment of the weather, the lack of admiration for the weather, the trials of traveling with limited clothing and the communication methods. Next time, we're coming armed with walkie talkies.

Medieval Times was awesome though. I highly recommend it. It's cheesy, but it's awesome. Especially when you're a bit liquor'd and you're in the 2nd row celebrating your hubby's birthday. Very fun.

Ruby and Gorby enjoyed it as well, and for the next two days, used everything from brooms to silly straws to joust one another. Pens became swords and swim kickboards became shields. Oh the imaginations they have!

It was great to have such an action packed family vacation, but restful it was not. I think next time, we'll go here for a family vacation.

Prefixes and Suffixes for You and Yours

We really miss being in school. Correction: *I* miss the kids being in school. But it'll come soon enough.

Ruby has been practicing her prefixes and suffixes lately. She just randomly comes over, looks me straight in the face, eyes wide and says:

"-ING!! As in JUMP-ING."
"-ED as in START-ED."
"-ER as in SMART-ER."
"RE- as in RE-WIND."

I grin, and shake my head, "-AZY as in you're a CR-AZY girl...you are so smart."

We're on our way to Vacation Bible School tonight, and we're rushing through the McD's drive thru (I know, I know...sign me up for Mother-of-the-Year). I look down and poof! the buttons on my shirt are open and hello me and my new literally-defies-gravity bra are broadcast for all to see.

Ruby says to me, "UN- and in UN-buttoned shirt!"
and...
"EN- as in EN-joy your UN-buttoned shirt!"

Q: What Happens if Barack Becomes President...

...it'll be an Obamanation.



So I'm reading Yahoo News today, and lo and behold out comes the mudslinging regarding taxes and the changes the two nominees would propose.

Option A: Rob the rich to feed the poor. Or, as Obama calls it, "...providing relief to those who haven't benefited as much from this new global economy."


"Providing relief" sounds as if we're contributing to a third world economy. And, I love this one: "...to those who haven't benefited as much..."

Here's a tip that's free of charge: how about we actually encourage and/or incent the "less than ambitious" among us to get up and make some changes in their lives so they WILL benefit from the new global economy? Hey! Help people take ownership of their own lives! What a concept!


Option B: Minimize the amount a person or company must pay to the government, thus freeing up those dollars to spend elsewhere in the economy.


"McCain, 71, vowed to maintain Bush's tax cuts, lower corporate tax rates from 35 percent to 25 percent and allow companies to expense new equipment and technology in their first year. He supported keeping capital gains taxes as they are now, doubling a tax exemption for children, and phasing out the Alternative Minimum Tax (THANK GOD!!!), which he said would save some 25 million middle-class families up to $2,000 in a year. He said he could pay for the plan by cutting what he called wasteful government spending, including ethanol and sugar subsidies and weapons systems. "We're going to scrub every agency of government and we're going to make them justify their existence. And if they can't, they're going to go out of existence," he said on CNBC.

Isn't it amazing how completely different these two viewpoints are?

When You're Pissed at Those You Work With...

...do what I do, and go paint pottery with your kids!

The kids finished the school year on Wednesday, which left Thursday and Friday (today) for us to be without childcare. Frederer took yesterday off, and I'm working 1/2 day and taking most of today off.

And, you know...I'd really much rather paint pottery with my kids than fight over email with the Customer Support Manager who refuses to fulfill the order that Sales (me) brings in. Is it his job to question what price the customer paid? No. It's his job to fulfill the order (in this case, a software upgrade service). I cannot believe I'm so seethingly pissed off about such a simple thing like this. I can't believe we're quibbling over something this stupid -- I want him to complete the application AND web-front end upgrade for one price and he wants to just do the application. EXCUSE ME? That's tantamount to buying a full service carwash for one price and then having the carwasher guy say, "Oh you wanted to car vacuumed too?"

God. It's amazing we can even function as a company with all the dumbasses around here. It's no wonder "business process improvement consulting services" even exist in the first place.

I'm off to go be one with my inner child and paint, Paint, PAINT!

Ta Ta For Now.

Spanish for You and Yours

I thought about sending this list to Ruby's Kindergarten Spanish Class at school, but then reconsidered. :-)

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: WATER
My vieja gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF
My homie farted gacho, bad, and I couldn't brief.

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM
Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, there's not mushroom.

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN
My vieja wanted me to go to the store with her, but chicken go by herself

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE
Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca. I told him, orale loco liver alone, cheese mine.

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: JULY
Ju tol me ju were goin to the store and July to me! Julyer!

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: WAFER
I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market pero she didn't wafer me!

MEXICAN WORD OF THE DAY: HERPES
I had some cake to share with my wife; this is my piece this is herpes.

Goodbye Kindergarten...Hello 1st Grade

Time flies so fast.

I am so surprised at how quickly this academic year flew by. Ruby had her Awards Ceremony today and is a Kindergartner no longer. Awards for Determination, Joyfulness, Innovative, Friendliness and Service filled the auditorium.

But when my little delight went up to receive her award, tears filled my eyes as her teacher described her compassion for others, strong sense of right-wrong-justice (we're working on adding "grace" to that mix), and helpfulness. Her ability to see when something needs to get done, the ability to organize and her natural leadership capabilities.

Her award: Compassion.

Of all the awards to have been given out, I truly believe this one is perfect for her. Compassion, coupled with her strong convictions, will help her as she grows to adulthood. We need more compassionate people in this world. Not ones that will feel pity and give handouts. Compassion for people who are hurting, communities that need fixing and hearts that need mending. She's strong willed, which is a great personality trait IMO. Pair that with a compassionate heart and you have something amazing.

She will amaze us all. Just watch and see.

Double Takes

Over the last few weeks, Ruby has cracked me up several times with making observations about the likenesses -- or rather, presumed likenesses -- between things. This morning was the piece de resistance, and I just HAD to share. Here's a few (that I can remember):

Sweet Confusion #1: (Looking at a magazine) "Hey, this looks just like OUR backyard"

OUR backyard:

NOT our backyard:

Sweet Confusion #2: (pointing to an airplane landing at a nearby airport) "Hey, that looks just like big Papa's airplane!"

Papa's Airplane:

NOT Papa's Airplane:

(Personally, I like Papa's plane!)

Sweet Confusion #3: (Driving past a used car dealership with a mini-Monster truck) "Hey! That's just like Mr. Scotty's truck!"

Mr. Scott's truck (rather, one like it):

NOT Mr. Scott's truck:

And, the best one that just about sent me over the edge...

Sweet Confusion #4: (watching me read Yahoo News) "Hey! That guy looks just like little Papa!"

"Little" Papa: (so named because he's 2 inches shorter than the other Papa)

Definitely, NOT Papa:

Hahaha - She just cracks me up. I think the world of her. She's my pride and joy. And with a face like this? Can ya blame me?