Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Mom Song

This is fantastic!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Saga with Former Employer Continues

If you thought the saga with my former company paying out my final commissions was over, you're sadly mistaken. It's been dragging on for over 60 days now, and it's so frustrating.

But, I must say, the most hurtful thing thusfar has been the knowledge that I was basically let go from a group of people I had worked with for over 13 years, 6 of which at the last company that had acquired the software I sold.

When the president of the division called me to announce that "my role was not being transitioned to the new company" I was shocked, hurt and felt like the wind had been taken out of the room.

Now, it appears that my former role DID appear important because they posted a job solicitation for it just today (oddly enough, the day AFTER I signed the Separation Agreement & Release -- basically a doc that says I won't sue them -- good thing it has a 7 day recision clause though).

So here it is in all its former glory. EXACTLY what I used to do for the company that they said "was not transitioning my role" to the new company.


THE COMPANY
ExecsAreDufuses is an industry-leading provider of technology and consulting solutions for asset and infrastructure-intensive organizations in government, education, utilities, telecommunications, transportation, healthcare and the commercial sector. Our suite of software solutions and professional consulting services enable organizations to improve maintenance practices, streamline operations, and improve accountability for mission-critical capital and infrastructure assets. ExecsAreDufuses is part of the ExtremeJackasses Software Inc. group of companies which trades on the under the symbol “FUCKDAISY”.

POSITION
This position is for a Sales Support Representative who will work in tandem with the Sales Account Managers as well as other members of the ExecsAreDufuses team to generate new business with existing customers, works to identify prospective new customers and can meet or exceed sales quotas while increasing customer satisfaction.

JOB RESPONSIBILITIES
The successful candidate will be a talented, self-directed and a self-motivated individual, who knows the importance of teamwork, cooperation and pleasant persistence.

Sales
• Obtain proficiency with ExecsAreDufuses software products in order to demonstrate modules via remote presentation tools (Webex).
• Generate new and repeat sales by providing product and technical information in a timely manner.
• Determine customer requirements and expectations in order to recommend specific products and solutions
• Recommend alternate products based on cost, availability or specifications
• Present price and terms in accordance with standard procedures and in concert with the Account Manager(s)
• Accurately process customer transactions such as proposals, quotes and orders
• Maintain accurate and up-to-date information on existing and prospective clients and be prepared to report on same.
• Proactively recommend items needed by customers to increase customer satisfaction and improve transaction profitability
• Increase sales and average order size by means of cross-selling, up-selling, add-on sales and offering promotional sale items
• Educate customers about terminology, features and benefits of products in order to improve product related sales and customer satisfaction
• Identify prospective new customers through telemarketing
• Travel for customer/prospect meetings as directed

Support
• Assist customers with support issues by documenting their issues, and handing off to support, with the issue well understood and documented
• Contact customers following sales to ensure ongoing customer satisfaction and resolve any complaints

JOB QUALIFICATIONS
The successful candidate must possess a Bachelor’s degree from an accredited college or university. Minimum 2 years in similar position preferred
• Effective listening, communication (verbal and written), negotiation and excellent phone skills
• Demonstrated integrity and ethical standards
• Delivers superior customer service
• Technical expertise and knowledge of company products
• Problem-solving and analytical ability
• Able to handle difficult customers with diplomacy and tact
• Manages time effectively and adapts quickly to changing priorities
• Able to multi-task
• Team player who works productively with wide range of people
• Proficiency with Microsoft Office Suite, particularly MS Excel

Work Environment and Physical Demands
Office environment, Some stress may occur at times
No special physical demands required.
Travel 10% of time

Am I bitter? Oh yeah.